Sunday, March 04, 2007

TMI #2

Do you really need to include how many people you've slept with in your personals ad on Craigslist?!?!?

You're all nutters! - 25

Date: 2007-02-21, 11:46PM CST

OK, I'll agree that a controlling portion of men are assholes and/or stupid. After working in a night club last summer, I know for a fact it's true. But allow me to be most likely the first open-minded, intellectually capable, equality-minded male you've ever heard say this. Most women (not all) are completely battshit crazy!

I do not understand either of these trends. On a psychological level men and women are almost identical when we start out. Yes, there are slight differences, but they are slight (a female toddler separated from their mother by a wall will cry while a male will attack the wall for instance).

I would very much like to find a woman who, like me, tends to ride the wire between feminine and masculine. I will love you as long as you'll have me if you can go to a dive bar, drink beer, watch kung fu movies, but absolutely melt when I buy you a pair of vintage Mary Janes and can remember your shoe size. I want to go to my stylist (Erin Flavin, Jon Oulman Salon, go to her, she's fantastic) and have her tell me all the nice things you said about me when you got your hair done last. I want you to challenge me to belching contests. In my perfect relationship, you'll tell me I'm fussing too much over which shirt to wear and I'll tell you you're fussing too much over your hair. I crave balance.

Also, unlike most men, I do not want a nymphomaniac. That, to me, is hell. I can not keep up with someone who wants it five times a day. I will not sleep with someone on the first date. If we really click, maybe the first month. I have dated a lot of women, had a lot of chances, and so far my list is 2. Quality over quantity. I refuse to let something as intimate, as exciting, and as sincere as sex become a constant routine that only lasts 10 minutes.

So, if you are a well balanced woman with a brain who feels comfortable with her whole self and you well and truly do want a sincere, kind, thoughtful, generous, romantic guy and not some pinheaded jock who's tiny brain shuts down if the space between fucks lasts longer than an hour, right here. If you're nuts, stupid, or are more interested in an Adonis than a Plato, then go to the nearest mirror, look into your own eyes, and ask "do I feel good about myself?" But more importantly, please leave me alone.



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