Scientology

Last week I was discussing Scientology with Missy, and I stated I seriously thought it had something to do with aliens. After her and Robyn laughed at me, I decided to do some research. Thought I haven't completely figured out what the religion is about, I know why I thought it had to do with aliens. The inventor of the religion, L. Ron Hubbard, wrote sci-fi books before making up a religion.

Now, Tommy Boy had decided he believes in aliens. Perhaps there IS a connection before the religion and the ETs of the world?

Tom Cruise is crazy - read all about it.

Quick updates before my minutes run out

I have 8 minutes left on my computer, I'll try to make this quick...

Yesterday, we did a canal tour of the city. Similar to the one I took in Amsterdam but here got to see the new Opera House paid for my the oil company Mærsk. It's new 02 I think and pretty. Goes in line with the Marble Church, Amielberg Castle, Fountain, then the Opera House. Lookin good.

Did a mini+shopping trip on Strøget, then took time to shop for gummies. Haribo is based here, and you can literally get Pirate gummies, Palm Tree gummies, the Matador gummie mix (who knows what that is) and something labled the Larve gummies that look like larve worms. Good times.

Had a nice dinner in a French restaurant on a square off of Strøget. The rest of the team headed to bed early but I took time in the reception-breakfast area of our hotel to plan out the schedule for today. It was fun + I had 6 books and 3 maps and a few brochures to work with.

Today, we had a firm schedule but left pleanty of flex time for when we got tired. Headed to the Restistance Museum, that showcases the story of the Danes resisting German occupation during WWII - it was one of my top 5 museums during my last trip to Europe so I thouroughly enjoyed it. However, last time I was here I took 2 hours to view it, the team today only took 45 minutes - I learned they don't like to read much. Whatever.

We saw the Amieleberg Castle, current residence of the Royals here in Copenhagen. It was a little kitchy and full of tschockes (sp?) but was fun. Then visited the Marble church, then saw the changing of the guard. A little lame but apparently it's more exciting outside of summer when the queen is in residence in the city.

Grabbed some smørbord (sandwiches) at the cheap place recommended by Rick Steves, then headed to the park to eat them. There are seriously so many cute babies here, it's ridiculous. And apparently everybody gets mucho time off when their baby is born because lots of moms and dads and not nanny looking people were pushing trams of babies. Yesterday, we saw a nanny who had a row of 4 babies in her big tram, all in hats. It was cute.

Toured the Rosenberg castle, it was a top pick by Rick Steves and was nice. Crown jewels in the basement, too (that sounds dirty). Got yelled at by a guard for basically being loud Americans. He told my aunt ''Just like everyone else here, you need to be quiet''. We were not horribly offended, thank goodness. I thought he might get yelled at for shushing us but it didnøt happen. Then went home for naps, and headed to dinner late tonight so we could catch Tivoli tonight.

Had dinner at Nyhavn, the row of pretty houses by the canal. I remember an afternoon of mucho beers and chatting with Marc and Alicia there. We instead had fancy dinner and no beers. However, at Tivoli we had Sangria (Jeanne and Grandma), Rose (mom) and a ''big beer'' for me. They were as confused by Tivoli as I was when I first went there but quickly figured out how cool it is. For those of you who haven't been to Køvenhavn, it's basically an amusement park social event with 150,000 lights all over the place. It's for those ages 1-99, and we saw many at both sides of the spectrum.

It's very fun to people watch, grab a bite, buy stuff (I snagged coasters) and just chill. I was thinking that if American had more fun, family things like Tivoli to do, maybe we wouldn't be glued to the television? Perhaps. Stayed there long enough for it to get dark enough to enjoy the lights, and then they headed home. I'm about done internetting (obviously went over my 8 minutes, oops, just 10 more kroner aka play money).

Tomorrow is a big day. Day 1 of 4 of us renting a car. Tomorrow, we're just staying close, about 45 miles north there are 2 castles, one of them the play Hamlet was based upon. Should be fun. Ooh, and lucky me, they found 2 quilt shops along the way we get to stop at and shop. Yippee.

Traveling with this team is great, but a slightly different experience than when Mr. Marc and Alicia and Michael (was that his name?) were my companions. I'm just saying there are frowns when I order more than 1 beer a day. Lo siento, chicas.

Music

After listening to Jay-Z, Gwen Stefani, and Eminem while internetting, I'm now enjoying rap in a foreign language. I like it. I'd guess German or Danish, but who knows. I likey.

HP update

For a quick minute I thought that HP6 might launch in Europe prior to coming to the Estados Unidos. Not the case - worldwide release is the 16th of July so I don't have a leg up over here.

Pardon the typing...

Welcome back to Europe, Laura. Home of f+ed up keyboards I haven't yet remembered how to work... The 'and' sign in emails is especially hard to find... Quick update before my 30 minutes at the BoomTown internet cafe in Copenhagen ends.

Our first country visit in Amsterdam went well. Saw the Van Gough museum, etc. Oh wait, you may be thinking, I thought Laura and the fam were visiting Scandinavia, not the Netherlands? Well, that's what I thought, too.

My grandma decided to take one for the team so that I could meet the cute immigration boys in Amsterdam. My mom and I went through ahead of grandma (mistake - not to be repeated the rest of the trip - grandma always goes in the middle just in case) and saw her walking over to the side. We went through everything and were waiting a few minutes, saw the Indian (dot) Jesus or a guy that looked like what he'd have looked like, then saw a cute immigration boy approaching us.

He asked if we were traveling with this woman, showed us grandma's passport, and I told him ''Yes, and you stole my grandma!'' He apologized and said he wouldn't do it again, but said the reason he stole her was that she could not produce a valid passport so he couldn't let her into the country. We snuck back to the immigration office (complete with many, many immigration boys wearing baby blue outfits and carrying guns and handcuffs, yum) and found grandma saying, well, I guess I messed that up.

Turns out when she visited the safety deposit box last week to pick up her passport, she accidently grabbed her old one that expired in 1997. Oops. The good ol' Rapid City airport failed to look at her passport, so the first time it was viewed was at customs in Amsterdam. Awesome.

While cute immigration boy Maarten (Iøll post his picture as soon as I can) tried to work out the details so grandma wasn't sent home on the next plane to America, I was able to collect my aunt who'd just landed from Seattle, bought coffee for mom and grandma, cancelled our tickets to Copenhagen for the morning flight, and had them start the process of getting our luggage taken off the plane. 2 hours later, grandma had a temporary (3 day) visa and we needed to get that fixed before we could go on to Copenhagen.

After much hassle, I got a prepaid SIM for my phone and called the embassy who referred us to the consulate. Conveniently, they're open from 8:30 am to 11:30 am so we had 40 minutes to get there or we were f-ed till tomorrow morning. I raced to get grandma and we cabbed it to the consulate. They were SUPER helpful, put her passport processing on the fast track so after arriving at 11:15am we got paperwork processed, got passport photos taken up the street, and had a new, hot off the press passport in our hands by 12:30 (they stayed open late for us). It rocked.

Cab back to airport, get rebooked, get on plane. Finally here. It was more exciting than expected but totally worked.

If you want to call me or text me, my digits calling from the US are 011 31 062 818 3019. I donøt expect any calls but if you do it'd be fun :) The Nokia phones over here rock - since I'm unemployed I can't buy one but I'm taking pictures of the fun Nokia stores here. And might get a Bluetooth headset.

Otherwise, all is well. I have decided all Americans should be required to visit Europe one week every 2 years so we can all remember how f-ing fat we all are. We are all disgusting human beings, but oh well. The other 3 keep trying to have us ''not look like tourists'' but unless we can each drop 40 lbs overnight, that's just not going to happen.

I'll keep the updates coming, I think it'll be hard to post pix while I'm gone but if I can figure out they'll be up :)

PS While I'm here I'll post my blogs with the local time. Just an FYI.

This is funny

Anna, the animated Ikea assistant, is funny.

Wifi on da plane

How nice would this be? SAS is offering wireless internet onboard its flights. Sure, it's $30 for the duration of the flight, but on a long flight this isn't that bad...

John's exciting day

Warning - don't read this if you're eating. It's gross...

John emailed me a few weeks ago with this story of his day. It's a crazy story...

I packed the job yesterday and Matt came over and dropped some more materials off. Later he commented on the wierd smell in the building. I sort of noticed it but I just figured it was a wierd funk in the building.
So when we finished craning the pieces out (5th story building, needed a crane to take stuff out of the apt), a cop pulled up. He talked to a young Asian girl who was crying out front. He then came up to me and asked me to move all the stuff from the front of the building ASAP.
Firetrucks and ambulances showed up. The funk from the building started wafting outside and we realized what was going on. It has been around 85 here for the last four or five days, so the heat started doing a nasty number on the dead body in the basement of the building. Yup, looks like the Asian girls ex-boyfriend committed suicide a little while ago and the body was decomposing in his basement apartment. We waited outside for 4 hours while the coroner, EMTs and medical examiners dealt with the mess.
Finally they let us back in. I made it two steps into the building and turned around. I ran back to the truck and started puking... I couldn't handle it. It was nastiest smelling shit ever.

Crazy story, eh?

Europe books

I'm trying to get packed for my trip and am trying to decide what books to bring with me. I'm definately bringing a few magazines - they're nice b/c when you're done reading them you can just toss them. As for books, I'm looking for books I can share with the others in my group; makes sense that all of us read them if we're going to haul them around for 3 weeks...

I'm thinking about Middlesex, I heard from someone its good and I think we could all read it. Other than that, I'm not sure other books that'd be good. I want good books that are worth carrying around, thick enough to take a while to read, but good reads worth carrying around. Get what I'm saying?

Let me know if you have any suggestions...

Is 617 an inconvenience?

I still have my (617) cell number. This is mostly because I think switching my phone number mid job search is a bad move, plus what's a good reason to change it? I know Alicia's reason for not switching her number (she might lose touch with some people), but I don't think I'll have her problem...

I tried calling a cab the other day and they wouldn't help me because I didn't have a local number but I think I can find a cab company that won't have a stick up their ass so I can work with that (I offered to be outside waiting for the cab but they still wouldn't help me).

Here's the survey question of the day - does my 617 number personally inconvenience you? If I get many responses, I'll take that into consideration... Holla.

Southern Idol?

Isn't it weird that pretty much all (except Justin) the finalists for American Idol are from the South? Let's write it out:

1. Kelly (TX) and Justin (PA)
   
2. Rueben (AL) and Clay (NC)
3. Fantasia (NC) and Diana (GA)
4. Carrie (OK) and Bo (AL)

It looks like more contestants are from the South than from other regions of the country (perhaps correlated with 'places where pagents are popular') so statistically winners coming from regions that are better represented makes sense, but still that's crazy. Everybody from the South beat out the Northerners each year...

I'm surprised nobody from CA has made the finals so far. Maybe in year 5?

MOA

I went to the Mall of America this afternoon and won't lie - I enjoyed myself. Visiting the MOA on a Tuesday afternoon in June as opposed to a weekend before Christmas obviously makes it more enjoyable - but it was just a good mix of stores and altogether a fairly pleasant experience. Good work, MOA.

Remember when Kerry Keyes was in that MOA TV ad? I do.

Excessive roadkill

On my drive to Mpls from Jackson, I literally saw at least a dozen different animals as roadkill, including at least 4 deer. Seriously? Seems a bit excessive - especially when it's not deer season.

McDonalds v. Wal-Mart. Bring it.

I feel like Mickey Ds is trying to pull a Wal-Mart and take over the world. My reason? Red Box. A wholly owned subsidiary of McDonalds that is offering the complete entertainment experience. Stop into your local McDonalds, pick-up a DVD, pay just $1 per day you rent it. Return at any other Red Box location. If you keep it 25 days, you're charged $25 over the course of those days for the rental and it's yours to keep. Going with the "no late fees" theme.

It's not the worst idea, not the best. I think years ago they used to have these types of video rental boxes in malls - I never used them but I feel like they existed for a short time but died because no one used them. Good for McDonalds - more traffic in their restauraunts. Will it succeed? We'll see...

PS Let me make it clear - this doesn't even come close to comparing to Netflix. Their selection is painfully small, and let me repeat - if you don't get your ass off the couch to return the video, there is a charge. I'll take Netflix any day.

Surprise CDs

I'm looking for your input on this one. I heart my iPod, but especially love 2 CDs that I have on it. And they are both surprise CDs - the Flashdance soundtrack and the Footloose soundtrack. Who knew? Both are v. fun to have on my iPod - whenever the songs from these soundtracks come up I'm very happy that I have them included in my iTunes list.

So, what are 2 CDs that you're surprised you like as much as you do when their songs are included in your iPod. Comment, bytches. I know who of you have iPods - I can at least expect Marc, Michael, Natalie, Alicia, Zippy (shuffles count) and Missy to have comments about their own Pods.

2 fun bumper stickers

• No one died when Clinton lied.

• There wouldn't be homosexuals if God hadn't created them.

Dear Kenneth,

Please build a store in Minnesota. I promise we'll buy enough to make it worth your while. Please? Research the Minneapolis area - we have money and are looking to spend it on your pretty shoes and handbags.

Thank you, Laura

Who knew?

That Jane Seymour, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, was a Bond girl? I'm guessing I'm dumb for not knowing this - or no?

I concur

The U's Regents voted to dissolve General College yesterday. I say yeah.

This was controvercial move - many on campus in May/June were wearing YES for GC buttons, and were firm supporters of keeping GC because cutting it meant cutting off access to the University for those from diverse backgrounds. While this could be true, I firmly believe the U is not supposed to be the place for everyone - if it was, it would be a lower caliber school, and that would cheapen its degrees.

There are many, many community colleges and other state schools where everyone can attend in order to get higher education - the U doesn't have to be that place for everyone. How many other state universities are supposed to be letting everybody in? Not Michigan, or Penn State, or many others...

Plus, the more out of state students we can attract at out of state tuition rates, the more $ the U collects so maybe instate tuition won't go up quite as much. And I'm pretty sure nobody is coming from out of state to attend GC. Except maybe a few athletes.

I wish I would've predicted...

that the Terri Schiavo autopsy would come out as it did. I should've predicted the autopsy would show she had irreversible brain damage and that no sort of recovery / therapy would work. But I didn't predict this earlier, my bad.

I'll work on stepping up on my predictions, as Planet Dan does, in the future...

Score!

I got done with Jesus in History on Friday, and got an A- in the class. Good for me!

Nerdy

If you're looking for a gift for a computer nerd in your life - how about this - a device that detects wi-fi signals and then shows you the signal strength as you carry it around with you. I like the idea, but SOOOOO nerdy.

Mini - Minny - Minnie

I'm gonna throw this out there - I'd rather refer to Minneapolis as Minneapolis, the Twin Cities, even The Cities instead of the nicknames mentioned in the heading. I'd even rather have someone ask me how things are going in Minnesota rather than asking how Mini/Minnie/Minny is treating me.

Is anyone with me? (or am I being a bitch?) Just being honest people - I'm annoyed with these nicknames... One more reason not to name a kid something that can be shortened - you've all heard me rant about this before...

More explaination needed

Bejota linked on his linkblog to this website, but didn't really comment on it. I feel that a little rant about it is necessary, considering how F-ed up the content is... Seriously, I can't believe that there are people that agree with these people, or that people actually have these opinions. It blows my mind sometimes... One of my favorites: There's no need to practice environmentalism - the second coming is near. Hello, crazy.

I would like each of them, who claim to be religious and then talk about how AIDS is good because it kills the sinners, and how men should control women so women wouldn't have to vote (that quote from a member of HER state's legislature) and that sex education and contraception are both awful and should be outlawed, to take a little History of Jesus class and think about their opinions. Jesus hung out with prostitutes and tax collectors (the corporate scandalists of the day) and did not want them removed from humankind - I think America's right should think about this for a while. I am a liberal - I admit it (don't tell Grandma).

Marc's prediction...

Marc: If the jury deliberations last longer than 3 days, Michael Jackson will be guilty. Mark my words.

The jury: Not guilty.

Love you Marc.

That's what I'm talkin' about

Exhibit A and exhibit B below - my car made it to 6 figures - I wish I was on a path to make it to six figures...

99,999 

100,000 

Rich?

So the fugly girls have given props to the man pictured below for fixing himself up. At first glance, for a second, do you think the man in the picture might be Rich Lodahl? That was my first thought, I won't lie to you. However, it is not Rich. The Fugly ladies are honoring Jack Osborne for fixing himself up. If I had a picture of Rich, I'd post it here to compare but I don't have one that I can find. Lo siento.

Graduation rules!

I'm not a big United flyer, but guess what is going to get me a free flight on their miles? Graduation. See below for dets:

Graduation Bonus

We will help you celebrate your college graduation with 10,000 United Mileage Plus bonus miles. Just send the following to the address below, and your bonus will be posted to your account within 4--6 weeks of receipt:

• A copy of your final transcript showing that you did indeed graduate as a full-time student from a U.S. college or university.*
  
• Your United College Plus/Mileage Plus account number.**
  
• Your e-mail address.

Mileage Plus, Inc.
P.O. Box 40
Rapid City, SD 57709
Attn: College Plus Graduation

How do you want your Harry Potter?

I've been debating book 6's release into the world on July 16. I've never bought a book the day it came out before, but am starting to debate it for this book. But, what's the best way to get it? Pre-order through an online service so it's mailed to you? Just raid the local Barnes and Noble at midnight on the 16th? I think the best option I've seen so far is at Target - you "pre-buy" the book and then it's held for you at Target for a week or so after the release and it has your name on it to pick up. Good idea, but I still think it may be a bumblefuck when I would show up to pick up my copy, especially at a ghetto Target (ghetto = I can win the "blonde" game 9/10 times there - includes Boston's South Bay Target and the Lake Street Target off of 55).

What's your plan for getting your fingers on HP6 asap?

Answer

I'm bad. I never answered the question "When was hair mousse invented?" that I posed a while ago. Correct answer: 1983.

The final countdown

I feel like I'm about to have a baby - just in case it happens, I have my digital camera with me at all times, ready to capture the moment.

Except it's just that my '98 Honda Civic LX is less than 100 miles from reaching 100,000. I swear to god, if I don't have the 99,999 and 100,000 pictures posted on my blog in the next week, I'll curse myself for messing that up.

I didn't think people did this anymore

While calling people for my PT job yesterday, I got an answering machine that told me:

"Hi, you've reached Cheryl* and Jack*. We're not here right now, because WE'RE OUT HAVING FUN! Please leave a message and we'll try to call you back. Bye-bye."

Really? I thought this style of funny-yet-lame messages ended about the same time Vanilla Ice got "thrown under the bus" and left the limelight. Apparently, I was wrong.

A couple of other trying to be funny messages:

"You've reached 763-458-8472. If you aren't trying to reach 763-458-8472, please hang up and dial again. Otherwise, leave a message."

"Hi, you've reached Jenny* and Erin* (apparently lesbian moms). If you know us, you know why we can't answer the phone - we're too busy! Leave a message and we'll call you after we've put everyone to bed."

* Names have been changed to protect these people.

Don't ask...

how I came across this website, but I'm pretty sure this is the lamest game I've ever heard of. Ever.

Rockstars of the week

All from Erin's Saturday night bachelorette party...

3. Minta - for being super fun (and getting us a ride home that night) mostly because I'd never met her before.

2. Erin - for not being a super annoying bachelorette but also for getting shitty and puking at the bar. Good work.

1. Rachel (Muck's sister) - For having the most fun out of the 12 of us that attended. Her most fun point was dancing to Jesse's girl, I think.

90% of internet traffic is not porny

Erotic websites may now use the .xxx extension for their websites in order to sort this traffic out from .com traffic so parents can more easily filter their childrens' viewing. How much traffic is porn related, you might ask? 10%. I guarantee that maybe 1 of every 1000 pages I view are porny - who is making up the difference? I suppose there are a fair amount of Lester the Molesters out there who are viewing porn 99% of the time...

What's your porn viewage? Don't lie.

Should I be surprised?

Coca-Cola offers benefits for same-sex partners. I would've bet $1 they didn't. Who knew old school Southern based huge companies are down with the homos? I likey.

I'm unemployed...

but I just found this job opening this morning. Here's the full out job description. Sounds like a great fit, eh?

I know I'm unemployed and won't buy it...

but I like this necklace. Check it out - the entire website is quite fun I think.

And it all comes together...

Thanks to the insight Star Magazine has given me, the whole Cruise - Holmes relationship is starting to make more sense. Here's the deal-e-o:

Did you know that 2 years ago Katie Holmes proclaimed that she'd stay a virgin till she got married? That was about the time that her and Chris Klein got engaged (she broke it off this spring). So, she serves as the perfect beard - she's not looking to do it with Mr. Cruise. Too convenient...

Insight #2 from Star: a Tom Cruise quote - "You know, sex means something to me. When I'm with a woman, I feel that. It just means something. I want that, ya know?" - Tom Cruise wants everyone to know he takes sex very seriously, ok?

This overt "I like sex with ladies" quote is just too over the top to be believable. Mr. Cruise, you are a liar - you like boys. You aren't even good at pretending you like girls.

Word of the day

Pander. I knew it had sleazy connotations, but that's all I knew. Your thoughts?

Business camp - or cruise?

I know I'm a dork - I went to business camp in HS (Alicia did, too). But this sounds super fun - the business (marketing) cruise where you get to dabble around a cruise ship with other marketing exec. Good times.

My favorite quote from the article: "Don’t be zeros, be double-digit heroes," in relation to the marketing department taking responsible to make real changes within the business. I likey.